When Paul’s imprisonment in Rome, he became the mentor and close friend of a slave who had run away from his master, named Onesimus. The owner of Onesimus was Philemon. Paul wrote to Philemon, asking him to receive Onesimus as a brother in Christ, he wrote this letter out of love, not as a dictator demanding it.

“Although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. . . . [Onesimus] is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord”  Philemon 8-9, 16

Paul, a huge contributor and leader of the early church, often gave clear commands to the followers of Jesus. This time, he appealed to Philemon on the basis of equality, friendship, and love. “I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary” (v. 14).

Men, this is a great example of leading with love. As I have been thrust into the role of the at home teacher I really need this reminder of leading not dictating. Often I tell my kids exactly how they are supposed to do their work and when and I don’t want to very from that. As you can imagine this doesn’t always go over well. When I lead with love, and let them have a say in when and how things get done, everyone has a better day!

Zach